If I were to ask one hundred people to complete the sentence,
"Preachers' Kids (PKs) are ," the vast majority would answer,
"The worst of all!"
    But then, everyone knows PKs (or Vicars' Kids insert your
own term here) got that way by playing with the Deacons' Kids.
    However, could there be some truth to the stereotype? According
to an informal study conducted in Texas, some 80 percent of preachers'
kids are no longer connected to the church as adults.
    I wouldn't be a good preacher's wife if I didn't brag on
my husband, so I'll tell you something he did recently that serves as
a perfect example.
    Recently our church celebrated Pastor Appreciation Day. We
belong to a loving, generous fellowship, so this day was one we
wholeheartedly enjoyed. During the Sunday evening service, Luke
gave a ((State of the Union" address in which he thanked the church,
let the members know our zeal had not diminished, and communicated
how very happy we remain in our ministry. (A little side
note the people to whom you are ministering appreciate knowing
when you are happy.)
    Then he said something I hadn't anticipated but had me almost
giving a "whoop whoop" from my seat: "Thank you for loving my
family, especially my children. I know my kids aren't perfect, and I
don't expect them to be. What's more is that I really believe you don't
demand this of them any more than you do your own children. We
appreciate that you let them be who they are without making them
feel they have to meet a different standard. This means the world to
us, and we just wanted you to know."
    My man is brilliant.
    Whether Luke realized what he'd done or not and I'm sure he
didn't because he doesn't have the Manipulation Gene he thanked
the congregation in advance for grace. While Luke and I strive toward
a happy medium in parenting, we have high expectations of our kids
and are working diligently to instill the concept of accountability in
them.
    Because man's motivations
are not always pure, we can fall back to the happy medium in
seeking to meet expect ations and find balance between not caring
at all what is said of us and sacrificing our children on the altar of
approval.
    Following this general rule of thumb will manifest itself in the
lives of your children and the church in this way: When your congregation
knows your main goal in the raising of your children is
to have them love God and respect His house and His people, then
their criticisms will be in love instead of contempt for what you are
not doing. I've seen this played out with my very own kids. Luke
and I have communicated in many different ways that we need help
and treasure anyone willing to enter into a Titus relationship with
our family. What rve seen is the people who love our family gently
guide my kids and then consider their misdeeds dealt with instead
of telling me every little time they act up in Children's Church or
run through the sanctuary. It's a great arrangement, and our family
is stronger for it.